Tuesday, November 6, 2012

stress...it's an understatement!

Stressed...that's all I can say! I feel like I'm being pulled in a 100 different directions right now. My husband's job is still requiring a boat-load of extra hours and now, so is mine.

I've told my supervisor that I'm at my limit and she tells me that everyone's "busy-ness" is their own perspective and she is expecting me to pick up where I can. Yes, because I'm not able to handle anything and when you look at what I actually do in a day, I'm just twiddling my thumbs. (insert a LOT of sarcasm) I am a nurse in a clinic. I work with a doctor who is the only person in his practice, which means I'm the only nurse in my specialty. Every other nurse in the clinic has another nurse in their specialty to help them...except me. Yet I'm told that I need to stretch a little farther and help out. So let's load my plate even more because I can actually manage my time effectively. I feel like I could pull my hair out and scream at the world right now!

And on the flip side, I'm told to take this as a compliment. She feels that she can push me more because I can manage a lot of different responsibilities. So at what point is it too much? At what point is it too much for me to handle my own specialty, help out another one consistently, help with the IT aspect of our clinic, plus handle my home life, with my husband working 60+ hours per week? At what point will it stop?

I know there aren't answers for this, but I sure wish there were. I've prayed and prayed and prayed some more. I've maintained the faith that God never gives you more than you can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much. He has put me through much more but never all at once. If my home life was stressful, work was not. If work was stressful, home was not. So why both? I've lost my appetite and can't eat anything right now. I've lost almost 10 lbs in 2 weeks simply due to stress. So what do you do about it? All I can't do right now is just keep reminding myself...God never gives me more than I can handle...EVER.

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